Day 4

Day 4

by

Charles Lamson

As you may have noticed, I didn't post anything yesterday. Was feeling a little under the weather. Was feeling a little feverish and weak like I was fighting something off. So I just kind of focused on drinking a lot of water, taking lots of good vitamins, and getting some rest, and lo and behold, I feel a little better today.

Yesterday wasn't a total wash though, as far as the 30-Day Bring Positive Changes and Boost Confidence and Self-Esteem Test goes. I started my day by listening to the below Youtube video, 432 Hz Bring Positive Changes - Boost Confidence and Self-Esteem - 432 Hz Miracle Tone Recording, while I drank coffee and worked on my other blog, The Rant.

Also, for those of you who don't know,  aside from being a blogger, I'm also a podcaster and YouTuber, mostly as a hobby. I say this because I feel it is relevant concerning the 30-Day Bring Positive Changes and Boost Confidence and Self-Esteem Test, because I actually started doing a show yesterday on an internet radio station called Revolution Radio. and they have a much larger audience than the one I get on my blog or my YouTube channel or my Blog Talk Radio podcast. 

However, I'm not quite sure how long they will stay operating. They seem to be going through a pretty rough transitional period. the former owner of the station recently passed away unexpectedly. But all the hosts who work on this talk radio station seem to have really loved this former owner and the station as a whole and they are trying to ban together to keep the station going.

But the problem is a lot of their programming comes at things from a rather unfavorable political viewpoint, being that it's mostly conservative. A couple of the shows are openly anti-Semitic and pretty much all of the other shows are about tearing down the existing order of things; the existing establishment and power structure and replacing it with something else. I guess most of them feel if we could go back to a more Constitution-oriented system of government and get rid of the central banking system, it would somehow make everything much better.

Now, I think the management is not all that radical, but they see their station as a last bastion of free speech. Basically anyone who wants a show, be it once a week or a couple times a week, can get a show. All I had to do was do an interview, a group conference call with the management staff and I had to write a little resume (basically, just to show that I could technically handle running my own show). But as far as content goes, they have a very hands-off attitude toward censoring or telling the host what he/she can or cannot say, aside from using curse words, being too religious, or talking about flat Earth theory: These things they don't like.

In other words, their rhetoric seems to be pissing off a lot of powerful people. It would be different if they didn't have any audience and nobody cared what they had to say. but they actually do have a fairly sizable audience; not as big as Alex Jones or the Drudge Report, but big enough to make some people angry.

I mention this because it seems like they might be making the wrong people angry at them; namely, big-tech people from Silicon Valley, the Chicoms, and the pedo cult that seems to be running the show right now. Though their power is dwindling, many of their minions possess enough technical expertise to create a lot of glitches in their broadcasting machine. The audio just cuts in and out all the time, making it almost impossible to listen to. So the popular consensus is that it's probably some sort of sabotage. The management team has been working feverishly behind the scenes to get things working smoothly again. Whether they'll be able to do that or not only time will tell. So whether I still keep doing a show there or not only time will tell, as well.

Stay tuned . . .

end

The 30-Day Bring Positive Changes and Boost Confidence and Self-Esteem Test (Day 2)

Day 2

by

Charles Lamson

Introduction

It is Day 2 of the 30-Day Bring Positive Changes and Boost Confidence and Self-Esteem Test. It is also Thanksgiving Day here in America. I hardly know where to begin. But they say that every story has a beginning, a middle, and an end. So, I guess I'll start at the beginning.

The Beginning

As soon as I woke up this morning, I started my daily morning ritual of self-flagellation. For those of you who may not know what that means, Wikipedia defines self flagellation as the act of hitting oneself with a whip as part of a religious ritual (see Figure 1).

FIGURE 1 Self Flagellation

Okay, maybe its not that extreme (that dude has serious confidence and self-esteem issues). I'm using a metaphor, but I think you know what I mean. 

For some reason my confidence and self-esteem is almost always at its lowest level when I wake up in the morning. It could just be because I'm a coffee addict, but I've noticed that when I lay there in bed in the morning, just after I wake up, the mental tapes start playing in my head about what a loser I am and how much I suck compared to other people and all the different ways I' embarrassed myself and made myself look foolish and ridiculous the day before and pretty much my whole life. I care so much what other people think of me and in these times, I'm just mortified thinking of all the foolish things I've done in my life, that might make others see me in a negative light. Its like I want to be worshiped and admired by everyone. I constantly worry what others think of me.

Now, the reason I think caffeine addiction sort of plays a role in all this is because usually once I start to wake up and have some coffee and start working on one my creative projects that I always seem to be working on, my mood almost always gets a lot better and more positive as the day goes on. 

And today was no exception. I may have actually made a tiny bit of progress, because pretty quickly after I started my morning ritual of thinking about how much I suck, I reminded myself that this is Day 2 of the 30-Day Bring Positive Changes and Boost Confidence and Self-Esteem Test. 

So I cut the self-flagellation ritual short, started drinking some coffee and I started listening to the above Youtube clip at the top of this post, entitled 432 Hz - Bring Positive Changes - Boost Confidence and Self-Esteem - 432 Hz Miracle Tone Recording, which is a crucial part of the 30-Day Bring Positive Changes and Boost Confidence and Self-Esteem Test as my plan is to listen to that clip every day of the project. And I started working on my other blog The Rant, And I started to feel a lot more positive and got on with my day.

The Middle

And so I did notice throughout the day I did seem to be much more cognizant of my habit of negative thinking about myself. I have a big problem with comparing myself with other people and thinking I'm a total loser compared to so and so and these people probably think I'm a total joke, an idiot, a mentally insane idiot, or whatever. 

But I was doing a pretty good job of catching myself as soon as these thoughts would arise and I would remind myself not to do that. And then I would try to imagine how a confident person with good self esteem would act and feel regarding these situations that seem to trigger my negative thinking, and then I would just sort of play that role. A "fake it till you make it" strategy.

So, until next time, stay positive have confidence and good self-esteem, and I will try to as well.

The End

30-Day Bring Positive Change and Boost Confidence and Self-Esteem Test (Day 1)

Day 1

by

Charles Lamson

Been having a lot of problems with confidence and self-esteem lately. So I prayed about it earlier today. Then, when I got onto the Internet, I noticed the above video, entitled 432 Hz - Bring Positive Change and Boost Confidence and Self-Esteem - 432 Hz Miracle Recording, was at the top of my Youtube recommendation list. 

So, since the 30-Day Proactive Test in Stephen Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People worked so well for me in the past (See my other blog The Rant to learn more about that.), I decided to listen to the above music video every day for 30 days and challenge myself to do a Coveyesque 30-Day Bring Positive Change and Boost Confidence and Self-Esteem Test, in which, I simply just focus on bringing positive change and boosting my confidence and self-esteem for 30 days and writing about it in this blog to keep track of my progress.

And you know what? I do believe the magic is already working, for as I come to the close of writing this first post, I already feel my spirits lifting a bit. I guess the sheer act of working on this part of myself is making me feel less powerless and more empowered.

end