The 30-Day Bring Positive Changes and Boost Confidence and Self-Esteem Test (Day 2)

Day 2

by

Charles Lamson

Introduction

It is Day 2 of the 30-Day Bring Positive Changes and Boost Confidence and Self-Esteem Test. It is also Thanksgiving Day here in America. I hardly know where to begin. But they say that every story has a beginning, a middle, and an end. So, I guess I'll start at the beginning.

The Beginning

As soon as I woke up this morning, I started my daily morning ritual of self-flagellation. For those of you who may not know what that means, Wikipedia defines self flagellation as the act of hitting oneself with a whip as part of a religious ritual (see Figure 1).

FIGURE 1 Self Flagellation

Okay, maybe its not that extreme (that dude has serious confidence and self-esteem issues). I'm using a metaphor, but I think you know what I mean. 

For some reason my confidence and self-esteem is almost always at its lowest level when I wake up in the morning. It could just be because I'm a coffee addict, but I've noticed that when I lay there in bed in the morning, just after I wake up, the mental tapes start playing in my head about what a loser I am and how much I suck compared to other people and all the different ways I' embarrassed myself and made myself look foolish and ridiculous the day before and pretty much my whole life. I care so much what other people think of me and in these times, I'm just mortified thinking of all the foolish things I've done in my life, that might make others see me in a negative light. Its like I want to be worshiped and admired by everyone. I constantly worry what others think of me.

Now, the reason I think caffeine addiction sort of plays a role in all this is because usually once I start to wake up and have some coffee and start working on one my creative projects that I always seem to be working on, my mood almost always gets a lot better and more positive as the day goes on. 

And today was no exception. I may have actually made a tiny bit of progress, because pretty quickly after I started my morning ritual of thinking about how much I suck, I reminded myself that this is Day 2 of the 30-Day Bring Positive Changes and Boost Confidence and Self-Esteem Test. 

So I cut the self-flagellation ritual short, started drinking some coffee and I started listening to the above Youtube clip at the top of this post, entitled 432 Hz - Bring Positive Changes - Boost Confidence and Self-Esteem - 432 Hz Miracle Tone Recording, which is a crucial part of the 30-Day Bring Positive Changes and Boost Confidence and Self-Esteem Test as my plan is to listen to that clip every day of the project. And I started working on my other blog The Rant, And I started to feel a lot more positive and got on with my day.

The Middle

And so I did notice throughout the day I did seem to be much more cognizant of my habit of negative thinking about myself. I have a big problem with comparing myself with other people and thinking I'm a total loser compared to so and so and these people probably think I'm a total joke, an idiot, a mentally insane idiot, or whatever. 

But I was doing a pretty good job of catching myself as soon as these thoughts would arise and I would remind myself not to do that. And then I would try to imagine how a confident person with good self esteem would act and feel regarding these situations that seem to trigger my negative thinking, and then I would just sort of play that role. A "fake it till you make it" strategy.

So, until next time, stay positive have confidence and good self-esteem, and I will try to as well.

The End